Deja Nu, Deja Vu?

Posted on April 21, 2022 by awtraughber

Five years ago, I found myself in a position where I was a church member without a pastor and a school teacher (at a Christian school) without a campus minister.  In both instances, I was able to step in and help with “next steps.”  The campus ministry vacancy is still an issue.  The pastoral vacancy was filled for a time (until last May).  Tonight we begin what could be the final stages of filling that position again.

Mando armorerIt’s odd, being in such a situation twice.  It definitely tests some of your presuppositions about things.  About yourself, yes.  And about other people.  And also, maybe mostly, about institutions and practices. And that’s not a bad thing, though it can be sobering.  If nothing else, it should bring some clarity and focus.  (If not, we must remember what the Armorer told the Mandalorian: persistence without insight will lead to the same outcome).  And I definitely feel like I’ve gained insight from these last few months and years.  And while some similarity in outcome is okay, a total similarity would not be good.

The tricky thing is that said insight involves institutional living.  Institutional living involves things beyond our control.  And such things also involve investment, commitment, and a sublimation of “the personal.”  And I get that.  But at some point, the personal has to matter because it’s always there.  Covidtide has been a time where I’ve had to give up some responsibilities for things that I loved for things that I felt were necessary.  I find myself at peace (and with some relief) about those things given up.  But I also find myself holding things that I’ve considered “necessary” or “more important” but that I cannot hold on to any longer.  And that makes moving forward something that requires some subtlety and nuance.

I’m excited about this weekend.  And I’m hopeful that we can fill our pastoral position at church.  Just like I’m hopeful that one day we will fill the ministry position at school.  I look forward to being done with the responsibilities that I’ve taken on in connection with both.  But I’ve also felt that way before.  I’m hopeful that, in the long run, this time will be different.

(image from dorksideoftheforce.com)

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100 Days of Dante Done

Posted on April 19, 2022 by awtraughber

This weekend I finished one book twice.

A few months ago I committed to reading Dante’s Divine Comedy along with others in a “program” sponsored by the Baylor Honors College.  Three cantos a week, so about 12 a month.  Good grief, that means I’ve been reading it since September!  Regardless, I finished the classic poem Saturday night.  Twice.

100 Days of DanteEach week I started with the Penguin Classics edition translated by Robin Kirkpatrick.  It’s a three-in-one edition, so it was nice and handy.  Then I’d watch the videos produced by Baylor and the many schools that they worked with.  Lots of different professors and religious leaders from a number of different perspectives.  Then I made my way to Anthony Esolen’s translations (which were not three-in-one).  Esolen’s translation was great, set in a modern language that was still elevated enough to set it apart.  The notes in both translations were good.  The introductions for Inferno and Purgatory by Esolen were pretty brilliant.

So one “book” twice simultaneously.  I’ve never done that before.

I likely can’t say much about things that hasn’t already been said dozens of times before.  The imagery was wonderfully drawn.  The inclusion of so much Italian history and context was daunting.  It was an interesting trip through church history, though.  And when things shined, things were brilliant.  I was most impressed with Dante’s ability to weave mythology in throughout the whole work.  I think I liked Purgatory the most, Inferno second, and Paradise last (alas).  But Paradise had some brilliant moments, too.  The theology, though often not my own, was intriguing and illuminating, too.

This is the second time that I’ve tried reading a dense classic with online assistance.  The first was for Augustine’s City of God, which I failed at quickly.  The videos helped a lot, even if I found myself disagreeing with the presenter.  I hope to revisit the story some day, when a few years have passed.  I’m more likely, I think, to revisit Esolen’s introductions.  Though tied to Dante, they had a lot to say that I could us for some of my classes, which is always a good thing.

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Easter Monday

Posted on April 18, 2022 by awtraughber

This New York Times piece by Tish Harrison Warren brings a number of really good threads together while reflecting on the reality of Easter.  It might be pay-walled, so let me know if you want me to send you a copy of the fill piece.  Here are a couple of excerpts:

Jesus promises a future when everything is made new. But the only real evidence that that is any more than wishful thinking is rooted in history, as solid as a stone rolled away. The Resurrection happening in truth, in real time, is the only evidence that that love in fact outlasts the grave, that what is broken can be mended, and that death and pain do not have the final word.

Not everything will be redeemed in our lifetime but, even now, we see newness breaking in, we see glimpses of the healing to come. We believe that, because “He is risen indeed,” we can know God and our lives can participate in the life of God, that our own biographies and mundane days collide with eternity.

And then:

If Jesus defeated death one morning in Jerusalem, then suddenly every revitalization, every new birth, every repaired relationship, every ascent from despair, every joy after grief, every recovery from addiction, every coral reef regeneration, every achievement of justice, every rediscovery of beauty, every miracle, every found hope becomes a sign of what Jesus did in history and of a promised future where all things will be made new.

The poetic quotes from Updike and Hopkins are a nice touch, too, as are the links to some of Warren’s other pieces.

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There’s an Easter song that I feel I’ve only sung at the church I currently attend.  It’s been around for just over a decade.  And while it doesn’t have the deep roots of some of the old hymns, it still finds a way to resonate deeply.  We sang it yesterday morning.  Something about the simplicity.  Something about the build.  And something about the challenge of waking up.  Here’s an acoustic version of “Christ is Risen” by Matt Maher and Mia Fieldes.

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Still No Way Home?

Posted on March 28, 2022 by awtraughber

I commemorated the end of spring break in a couple of ways.  First, I went in to school for a couple of hours to get ready for tomorrow.  New quarter, new unit, therefore new paperwork to handout.  Second, I got a haircut.  It was time.  And third, I went to catch a screening of Spider-Man: No Way Home.  Second and final time for me.  It’s rare that I see a movie in theaters twice anymore, but this one was worth it.

Spiderman No Way HomeBy now most everyone is aware of the big twists of the movie.  Even the Oscars mentioned the fact that all three cinematic Spider-Men were together in one movie (it was part of the crowd-source “top five” voting that they did).  And while I will say that it’s a big draw for the movie. it’s just one part of what makes the whole thing work so well.  In fact, by the time Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield show up, there’s a good chance that you’re already exhausted and emotionally drained.  Which is, alas, what makes this third outing by Tom Holland the first real Spider-Man movie for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

It’s odd to realize that we’ve now had two Spider-Man movies since the curtain dropped on Avengers: Endgame.   The effects, of course, are still there.  And not just for Spidey but for Doctor Strange, too.  Strange is a nice thread in the movie, particularly how he’s the only one who really knows what Peter is trying to do with the spell that he requests.  The other thread is college admissions, which I’m particularly mindful of these days as I teach seniors.  There’s some real hope and heartbreak there, which is part of what makes the last bit of the movie a different kind of painful than the rejection in the first bit.

I’d love to post some clips here, especially of the three Peter Parkers together.  The whole movie is worth viewing.  And it’s worth seeing in the context of the other two Spider-Man movies, even if you don’t see the other MCU movies that involve Spidey.

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So school starts tomorrow.  On some basic level, I think I’m ready.  Curveballs keep getting thrown at me.  Last quarter it was a member of my department not returning (and thus bringing on a temporary teacher).  This quarter, it’s a co-worker in another area of responsibility somewhat radically changing their work presence on campus.  It is what it is, but it’s another complication for me to process.  Plus tomorrow is three classes, an administrative meeting, and a faculty huddle.  Hopefully it will be a day to hit the ground running and not just to hit the ground.  We’ll see.

(image from cnbc.com)

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On Vacation, Travel, and Rest

Posted on March 26, 2022 by awtraughber

Well, I’ve been back from the West Coast for a few days now.  The sleep pattern is almost normal.  Some of my routines have finally started to kick back in.  The laundry has been done.  I’ve got a few more days until going back to work (Tuesday instead of Monday, which is nice).  Am I ready to go back to the classroom Tuesday?  Yes and no.

This year has been difficult for me, the third quarter in particular.  For the first time (maybe ever?), there was more outside pressure than inside pressure for me, mostly thanks to the five-years-now temporary vocational stretch involving chapel and things connected to it.  I’m in the classroom more and in meetings less.  It’s been different.  And vacation gives me the opportunity to step away and focus on other things.  Which hasn’t always been the case.  In the past, I’ve spent chunks of vacation time doing work stuff: getting caught up, getting ahead, talking with co-workers about things.  These last couple of years have moved me in the other direction, particularly in relation to travel.  Travel is almost the only way I can NOT think and talk about work.  Don’t get me wrong: I care enough about my work that I understand that thinking about it beyond the regular school year is okay.  But it cannot be all-consuming (which it can be easily).  So travel has become a way of shutting off that part of the brain to let other things have a chance.

What that doesn’t allow for, of course, is thinking through better ways of doing work.  Of redeeming the difficulties and planning out a better way.  Often the benefits of vacation and rest are quickly undone by the rush of the first couple of days back.  And that’s not good.  You want to do more than just survive a quarter or a semester or a school year.  Too often the way of work, at least my work at this time, doesn’t provide for what it demands.  It’s pragmatism and utilitarianism that ultimately must draw on sources that are neither pragmatic nor utilitarian.

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This quarter will be the final quarter of my “temporary vocational stretch.”  It’s changed so much over the last five years, particularly with the onset of Covidtide.  I’ve already explained that if a replacement isn’t hired that I can’t do it again.  I know that if the position is filled, I’ll be spending some time (at least at the beginning) helping with the transition.  Along with that, I’ve got to start thinking about other “next school year” responsibilities.  So I’ll be trying to figure out some of the significance of the last five years while trying to prepare for whatever is next.  That’s difficult when Covid has kept leaders of all kinds feeling one or two steps behind at all times.  I’ve already expressed concern about what is next.  Because, assuming that whatever happens next with Covid, the fall will be the closest things we’ll have to a clean reboot that we can either embrace or ignore.  It’s a chance to put “lessons learned” into place and into practice.  My concern, and this is true for lots of systems, is that things have become so complicated that those lessons either cannot or will not matter.  And the last couple of years have showed me that I cannot live that way.  And I fear that the power of the system will overwhelm the difficult reward of self-knowledge.  I don’t just fear it; I know it.  The question is what can actually be done about it?

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Today in (Middle Earth) History

Posted on March 25, 2022 by awtraughber

I’ll just leave these two clips from The Return of the King here to mark the events of the day in Middle Earth History . . .

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Airplane Reading

Posted on March 24, 2022 by awtraughber

My airplane reading for this trip was G. K. Chesterton’s Napoleon of Notting Hill.  The book’s been on may shelf for a couple of years.  I was looking for something on the shorter side, and I wanted it to either be British or fantastical in some way (I found a fantastical book later).  I read the first third in the flight over and most of the rest on the flight back (though I did have a couple of chapters to finish in Starbucks yesterday).

napoleon of notting hillThe novel was Chesterton’s first.  As is often the case with GKC, the political and the Romantic and the theological kind of all weave together, though the weaving only becomes clear in the end (as with The Man Who Was Thursday).  The story, first published in 1904, takes place in a 1984 London that was a lot like a 1904 London- no flying cars or teleportation or aliens or any other sci-fi elements that can show up in such stories.  The initial lead in the book is Mr. Auberon Quin.  The second lead, who picks up the story later, is a young man named Adam Wayne, who has taken Auberon at this word when it comes to the way that the world works.  It’s difficult saying more than that without giving away some interesting twists.  It’s a slower boil than Thursday.  But when it gets going, it’s quite brilliant.

It seems as though part of GKC’s goal in writing is to tell a story about the future in light of a game of (what he calls) “Cheat the Prophet.”  So when the curtain opens on 1984, we find that “the people had cheated the prophets of the twentieth century” by leaving London “almost exactly like what it is now.”  How could this be?  Because “the people of had absolutely lost faith in revolutions.”  The narrator continues:

Democracy was dead; for no one minded the governing class governing.  England was now practically a despotism, but not an hereditary one.  Some one in the official class was made King.  No one cared how: no one cared who.  He was merely a universal secretary.

Enter Auberon Quin.

It’s a good read.  Definitely a different kind of “futuristic” story. And, as the foreword suggests, there are a number of threads and images introduced here that will show up in GKC’s later work (though I recommend avoiding any foreword for the sake of surprise).  As with much of GKC’s work, he argues well between the extremes of things.  There’s tension there, of course.  But there’s also truth, beauty, and goodness.

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Snoqualmie

Posted on March 23, 2022 by awtraughber

The third phase of my spring break travel came to a close yesterday.  The final stop was Snoqualmie Pass, a ski resort area east of Seattle.  We drove up Sunday afternoon.  The drive was snowy and wet, which made for some interesting driving for me (it’s been a while since I was anything like that).  We made it to our lodging for the week and then some of us took a brief walk to get the lay of the land (which was covered in snow- see picture feed to the right).  While the drive up and the evening were great, it was waking up to falling snow that was the real treat.  About six inches had fallen overnight, and it kept falling until lunchtime Monday.

While my friends skied, I made my way back down to North Bend to check out Snoqualmie Falls (again, pictures to the right).  It was misty but beautiful.  And pretty massive.  I found out later that the Falls and the lodge adjacent to it were used for shots in the Twin Peaks tv show.  Then I made my way to Twin Falls Nature Area for a two-mile hike along the river in Olallie State Park.  It was cold and wet, but too far from the mountains for snow.  Then I made my way back into North Bend for a quick bite at Taco Time before heading back to the Pass.

At that point, the snow had finished falling and the temperature started to moderate enough that things started to melt.  So no falling snow on the second morning (though I heard snow falling off of trees and roofs throughout the night).  Then we made our way to the airport via the Falls and North Bend.

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It was a good trip with lots of good moments.  A change of scenery is almost always nice, which is especially true if snow is (safely) involved.  And we got there just in time to enjoy what will possibly be the last snowfall of the season.  It was nice not thinking too much about “island business” (though “island business” is always in the back of my mind).  As always, I didn’t get as much reading done as I had hoped (though I made good headway again with Chesterton’s Napoleon of Notting Hill on the plane.    Today will be a day for unpacking, running to the grocery store, and getting ready to enjoy a few more days of spring break before heading back to the classroom on Tuesday.

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The “soundtrack” for this last leg of the trip was an Andrew Peterson album that I hadn’t given much time to (at least not as a whole).  Counting Stars dropped back in 2010.  The standout track for me, particularly coming down from the pass, was “The Magic Hour,” which you can listen to below.

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Bellingham

Posted on March 21, 2022 by awtraughber

The second phase of my spring break journey came to a close Sunday.  Bellingham was the heart of the trip, as it included a wedding.  The drive from Anacortes to Bellingham was quick.  I even took Highway 11 instead of I-5 (at the suggestion of some locals that I met at breakfast one morning).  The drive was beautiful as it hugged the coast most of the way (and the rest of the time was small town and farm land).  When I got to my hotel, I found there was a delay on checking in.  So I went down the street to visit Whatcom Falls (which you can find in the Flickr stream to the right).  Then it was dinner with some other wedding guests followed by a quick trip to Trader Joe’s and then a quick visit with the wedding party.

Saturday was spent mostly on my own.  Slept in as long as I could. Had breakfast at a little diner one neighborhood over.  Tried to track down a new rucksack to replace the one I’ve been using since New Zealand.  Made my first-ever trip to REI, which made me feel like a real poser (their clientele is serious about the outdoors).  Then it was another, longer trip to Trader Joe’s before grabbing a sandwich at Poet of Subs and crashing before the wedding.

The wedding was great.  It’s always interesting seeing personalities play out in such settings.  The venue was great (a ferry terminal) and the company was quality.  On the way home I dropped by a bookstore in the area to pick up a novel in paperback that I couldn’t find anywhere else on the trip. Wedding accomplished, I made my way back to the hotel for a good night’s rest.

The Bellingham phase ended with breakfast in Fairhaven and then helping the newly-married couple get some things unloaded from the night before.  Then it was south again, this time by I-5, and then east to the mountains.  More on that next time.

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Anacortes

Posted on March 19, 2022 by awtraughber

The first part of my spring break journey came to an end Friday.  I flew into Seattle Wednesday evening and made my way north to Anacortes.  It was great seeing the mountains, particularly on the interstate by Everett.  The sunshine was nice . . . and the last that I would see for over a day.  I drove into town, checked into my hotel, and made my way downstairs for a fish and chips dinner.

As per the forecast, rain fell all day Thursday.  I tried the hotel’s biscuits and gravy (too gourmet for me, I think) and then made my way to the Anacortes ferry to Friday Harbor on San Juan Island.  It was a hard call, and not just because of the rain (which would have put a damper on anything outdoors).  The ferry was still running on Covid scheduling, so I would have to spend 3 hours at the harbor before returning to Anacortes.  And that wasn’t for me.  So I took the ferry, enjoyed the sights and the ride, and then made my way back to the mainland.  From there, I made my way to Burlington for lunch at Five Guys (totally overrated) and some shopping to get ready for the last part of the trip.  Then it was back to Anacortes for a chimichanga from Frida’s.

The rain moved out Thursday evening, though the clouds stuck around.  After checking out of the hotel, I made my way south to Deception Pass, a huge bridge that connects Fidalgo Island and Whidbey Island.  I had a great time. You can see the many pictures to the right.  I went down to the beach on one side and to the wooded area on the other.  Plus I walked the length of the bridge on both sides. It was great being outside in a beautiful place.  It was also a great way to end phase one of the trip.

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